The Drunk Text Helpline…

I once drunk text some one calling them a tiny mushroom…in french.

It probably isn’t the sexiest I have ever been, and it certainly didn’t increase my chances of finding any romance in the situation. All it did was prove that I remembered very little from my French GCSE and that when drinking I should not be allowed near my phone.

Luckily, on this one, I don’t think for one minute that I am alone (although I doubt many others are sending suggestive slurs involving fungi and the language of love).

We have a drink, suddenly consequences don’t seem so embarrassing. So what if this person will now know forever that I had a ‘dream’ about them, what does it matter, that I am telling my ex that I haven’t seen in 5 months that I miss him. It’s true I did and I do, so they might as well know right?

No. The answer is practically NEVER yes, although I admit, if you are happy in a relationship or casually flirting with some one the outcome can be pretty fun.

So this is advice and a service for people who have numbers in their phone that are saved as ‘DO NOT TEXT’ or worse numbers that they deleted from their phone but are permanently saved in their head, even after copious amounts of tequilla.

Do as the name says, and DO NOT TEXT.

At least don’t text them.

Here is the beauty of the drunk text. Most drunk texts are typed out because we need to say some thing It offers some form of release and some times the small hope and chance of an answer. That is why we write them out. That is why we HAVE to press send. Just for that one tiny moment of closure. The down side is, that 9 times out of 10, that is all it is, a moment. Followed by a whole night of constantly checking your phone, hoping they will reply, or worse, they do reply and it isn’t what you wanted to hear. Which is then followed by a good couple of days of ‘why did I send that message.’

But there is now a solution, a way to get that momentary relief without the text hang over. Press send. But send it to The Drunk Text Helpline instead.

Put this number in your phone now… 07582356326 

And go forth on your merry night out, knowing that the helpline is there for you!

The Drunk Text Helpline is part of Stephanie Claires work on her next show ‘Love Letters & Other Pointless Scribbles’ all texts will remain anonymous but inspiration may be taken!

Find out more about Love Letters…!love-letters–other-pointless-scribbles/c2h7


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