After possibly the girliest day I have ever had at the Spa on Friday, last night came something entirely different.
Lads night out.
Although it quickly became apparent, that the two fellas I went out with, well they’re not exactly lads. Thank god, because I went armed with a bottle of pink champagne, and it gave me a chance to gain a little insight into the opposite sex
Now before I fall into a complex maze of stereotyped gender differences, lets just put it out there. When it comes to heterosexual dating, male or female, we think the opposite sex is the most confusing. But it isn’t very often that you get to sit down in just the right inebriated state and talk about why we think this!
And you soon realise that it all comes down to 50 shades of grey.
No, not the book.
Basically, girls believe themselves to be black and white when they like somebody where as guys have all these different shades.
And guys, they believe that they are the ones that are black and white and it is the girls that are at home in the grey area.
So rather than reading 50 shades of grey, should we all be reading He’s Just Not That Into You instead?
In all honesty? I don’t know.
My best relationships have been instant, I like them, they like me, and we both did something about it. Black and white, but at the same time, I’m not averse to being a little grey.
After this initial ‘no, you’re the most confusing sex’ we then stumbled onto another argument. Which of us was the most tragic?
The guy who had choices, but was too scared to take them.
The guy who refused to believe he had choices.
Or, me, who has a solid history of making poor choices.
Of course we all believed ourselves to be the most tragic, that the dating game was hopeless, that the people we met were all confusing and grey. But now, that all the pink cava bubbles have passed and my head is a little clearer. I’ve realise, a) we are all tragic and b) in fact we are the grey ones.
In all three situations, we were the ones in control of our dating tragedies, because none of us had really been sure about the people we had encountered.
We were letting greyness stop us from getting in the game, when really greyness should BE the game. We should embrace these times of grey to test the water, meet new people, put our hands up and say, I’m not ready for the one but I’m not ruling out anything.
You see greyness isn’t a shade of liking, it is a state of mind.
Yes, that attitude probably only adds to things being confusing, and I don’t think it is fair to be grey, if the other person is clearly black and white and into you, but the rest of the time?
Why not? After all it is better than spending your Saturday night arguing that you’re the most tragic! And besides, if some one spikes your curiosity there is always potential. Potential that you might miss out on if you’re always looking for the instant hit.
Any grey pearls of dating wisdom to share? Leave a comment x