Good morning everyone, how are you?
No guest post again this week, and if I am being honest this is a post I should have sat down to last week, but wasn’t in the right frame of mind for it and so I put it off until now.
First of all I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has posted as part of this project so far. The stories have been amazing, inspirational and above all else reassuringly healthy and happy.
The Bloggers Food Diary isn’t going anywhere and if you would like to get involved you can email me on firstname.lastname@example.org. I want to keep this project alive and present, if there is one thing I have learnt over the past two months (whoa!) it is that these conversations still need to happen and that even the most resiliant of us need supporting and reminding that our bodies are amazing.
And there are so many things I have learnt whilst hosting this project.
The thing I have been happiest to discover is that more and more people are shunning quick-fix and dangerous diets. Every post I’ve featured has championed long lasting life style changes without denying yourself a treat every now and then. I genuinely believe the healthier you are, and the healthier you’re outlook is the happier you are.
Something else that has come to light for me is that the age old ‘everybody has been there’ mantra has never been more apt than when it is applied to our body image. I look at the beautiful women that have posted for me here, and those that are posting similarly else where in the blogosphere, and sit in shock that they would, for one second, think they were anything less than perfect looking.
But that brings me on to something else. The something that put me off writing this post last week. Something I have learnt about myself.
I’m not very good at learning these lessons and applying them to myself.
I started the food diary to promote all the wonderful things I’ve already spoken about here. Mainly health and happiness when it comes to our body and their accompanying image, but in the past two months I have been my most vulnerable, upset, unhealthy and cruel to myself than I have ever been ever before.
I’ve also learnt that I can be obsessive, and that threatened to define me.
I’ve calorie counted, gone through periods of making myself run everyday only to then flip and sit on the couch eating peanut butter out of the jar and hating myself for it. For getting to this point. For getting ‘fat.’
I’m not fat and I’m definitely not that girl.
Here is the thing, when all you can think about, all the time, is food and your waist line, your vision quickly becomes clouded, and you switch from one extreme to the other. Even if you’re not hungry you’re thinking about what you’re going to have for lunch, and about all the things you shouldn’t have, can’t have, definitely won’t have, probably didn’t even want but now crave for, go to the shop for, chide yourself for.
It is exhausting and dangerous, and recently set alarm bells ringing for me.
I wouldn’t cal it an eating disorder, but it was definitely a disorderly attitude towards eating, and could have escalated into something. I’ve never been a believer in fad diets or calorie counting but suddenly it was very easy to understand how those things are so prominent in our society, so addictive.
So I learnt another lesson, that there will always be not only new lessons to learn, but also old ones that you’ve forgotten.
I figured it’s about time I gave myself a break and went back through these posts and practiced what I, and so many other amazing bloggers have preached.
Live life & listen out for those alarm bells x