morning monday…. how to build a castle…


Morning everyone! How are you? Did you have a lovely weekend? I popped home to York, and had a very quiet but very much needed relaxing couple of days, especially as work is about to step up a notch as of this week!

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently about the lives we create and build for ourselves. I have come to realise that it is in fact only us who can shape our day to day, and while the idea of taking on so much responsibility for my own happiness is a little scary, it is also liberating.

Since the beginning of this year I’ve had a lot of time and energy to spend entirely on myself. And I’m only just beginning to appreciate how much of a luxury that is. To be able to spend time working out what is making you unhappy and more importantly what makes you happy, and to then empty your life of all the negative things and refill it with all the good. In years to come I may have a boyfriend, a husband, children of my own or might be called upon to look after friends and family I already have. And a lot of my energy will be fed into other people… People who I love and I will find a happiness in that too. But in preparation for this, I figured the best thing I can do for all those loved ones is make sure I am as strong and as happy as I possibly could be.

I’m building myself a castle. I’m giving it a strong foundation of positive and healthy thinking and I’m building it up brick by brick. I’m reading and learning every day, I’m cooking, writing, blogging, running, dancing, singing (badly) and filling every room of my castle with love and happiness. So that I am safe and happy here, and if one day I decide (emphasis on this being MY decision) to let the draw bridge down and welcome in a young man, it is somewhere he will want to be. But more importantly should anyone I hold dear need to take shelter here it will be strong enough for the both of us.

You are responsible for your own castle, if there is a crack in the wall then you need to call the builder, and if there is something in there you don’t like. Get rid of it. Sometimes it is hard, maybe the thing you need to get rid of is a heavy set piece of furniture, that won’t fit down the stairs, that you need some friends to give you a hand with, or you have to break it down but by bit, taking out a small piece everyday. Either way, you can get rid of it, redecorate, make your castle somewhere you want to be.

So it’s a Monday and your to do list is as long as your arm but remember that at the top of your priorities list should always be your happiness. Because if you’re not happy how can you make those around you happy?

Live life & build castles x


17 thoughts on “morning monday…. how to build a castle…

  1. I love how you talk and write Stephie. My favourite part was: Sometimes it is hard, maybe the thing you need to get rid of is a heavy set piece of furniture, that won’t fit down the stairs… Either way, you can get rid of it, redecorate, make your castle somewhere you want to be.”
    I’m in the process of doing this and I think this is something I’m going to put on a sticky note, and stick it on my computer as a reminder. Lovely post.

    Holly |

  2. This is such a great post. It reminds me of that saying that’s something like ‘To love other you must love yourself first’. Or is that even a saying? Either way, it’s so important to take care of and be kind to yourself.

    xx Mimmi, Muted Mornings

  3. This was such a beautiful post – and I love how you phrased it as “building a castle”. Just like any building, it needs a strong foundation to start – but you have a lot of options of what you can do with it and how you can fill it. This is just what I needed to read today – thank you!

    x Kathryn
    Through the Thicket

  4. I love this analogy. This blog post really affected me, I was nodding the whole way through because I feel exactly the same. I feel like we’re in the same place in life and it’s so lovely to know that someone out there is in that place too! Lots of love xxx

    Sinead |

    • Shinayde, I can’t begin to tell you how much this comment made to me! Thank you so much, and so glad that anything I write resonates with anyone! Your twenties are full of ups and downs, but at least like you said, we’re not alone xxx

  5. AWWW this post, you really have a way with words! I just went through a breakup with a guy I was (and still am) ridiculously in love with. He’s moved on – but I can’t help feeling hopeless like everything I thought was true is a lie. Funnily enough, my comfort is that one day I’ll have a family and a husband to look after and honestly even though I’m only 18 – I can’t wait for that. But till then, I need to build my castle x

    • All those things you felt for that guy, will be ten fold when you find the right one. I know how hard that can be to believe, I had my heart smashed when I was your age too, but honestly as I get older and am more confident in myself, then the relationships I get into also get better. Even if I haven’t found Mr Right yet xx

  6. Pingback: the good, the bad and the somewhat ugly parts to living alone… | tea in your twenties

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