Hello! Sorry this post is so late, but I think it was for the best….
As I mentioned on Friday recently it has really hit me just how quickly time is passing. It feels like only yesterday when I was here breaking the news that I had finally found the dream job, and yet, here I am, already thinking about what happens next. I guess that is natural when you’re on a relatively short term contract (my project that I work for at the moment, is due to end in February 2016) and I guess it is also natural, that when faced with something scary, things can seem a little bleak.
That’s sort of where my head was this morning, when I woke up and intended to write this post. I knew that I wanted to talk about looking towards the future, but I didn’t know in what light I was viewing it in. The idea of things changing again so quickly after finally feeling settled terrifies me, and it all feels a little unfairly out of my control. Looking forward is not something I necessarily want to do right now. I’m enjoying where I am right at this moment so much so, that, in many way’s I would rather close my eyes, cover my ears and sing lalalalalala than answer the question ‘what’s next?’
But I can’t do that. It isn’t in my nature. And that is something I have spent a lot of time mulling over today.
Ever since starting this Monday post, I’ve talked about moving up my mountain. Even when things were there bleakest, I came here and told you, and myself not to give up. Now I can open my eyes, take my hands down from my ears, and stop my out of tune sqwalking, because things aren’t at there bleakest. Things are far from it, and the next step will, as always, be a step up.
The way I see it, I could spend the next 11 months, ignoring the fact that life will change, or I can spend 11 months taking control of it, and making sure that the change that comes, is one I want to make. That is what I need, to feel in some way, in control.
There is no point in me applying for jobs yet, but doing a little research into what is out there isn’t going to hurt. I’ve learnt so many things over the past 7 months, and it is time to see just what I can do now. I’m not that waitress that I was when I moved here.
So I’m taking some small steps. I’m going to put something in my near future to look forward to, perhaps another trip away, so that time passing isn’t just a ticking time bomb, and I’m also going to start exploring one or two side projects. They don’t have to be huge commitments, but something that helps keep me aware of how much I’ve grown and how much I can do.
The future isn’t really all that scary, it’s actually quite exciting. In 11 months I could be starting a new fantastic job and moving to a new part of the country or my project could be extended and I could have built up a sustainable life for myself right where I am. Neither of those options really sound all that bad do they? So why wouldn’t I want to look forward to finding out which one comes true?
Hope you’ve had a lovely Monday!
Live life & keep your eyes on what’s in front of you x