Happy Friday everyone! How are you?
I feel like it’s a while since we had a proper catch up, and I think that may well be one of the reasons I feel a little disconnected from all things blogging lately. So pick your favourite brew of the moment (I’m on hot water, with lemon and ginger because I desperately want to believe it’s the magical potion everyone says it is), or even better a glass of Sangria, and lets chat.
I can’t help but feel a bit restless at the moment. Some lovely happy things are happening in my life but there is also a bunch of other stuff playing on my mind.
First of all I’ve taken on a big old project at work, and it is scary. Scary in a good way. In a I’ve never done this before but lets give it a go kind of way. This is great but on top of all the normal stuff I have to do at work, lets just say my morning routine has gone out of the window, and my middle of the night routine has become, sleep, dream somewthing weird, wake up and write down at least several things I can’t risk forgetting by morning.
Not only that but it’s nearly a year since I moved (51 weeks if anyone was counting) and that’s leading to me doing a lot of reflecting on everything that has happened but also a lot of looking forward and seeing a possible end to what my life currently looks like and not enough clues as to what my life might look like in 6 months time.
In 6 months this job could come to an end. That’s a reality I have to face, and facing that reality means coming up with a plan b and making some decisions like, what do I want my next job to be and where do I want it to be, and what do I do if there is a gap between one life ending and another beginning.
Which leads me on to money. If there is a gap I will need money, so I should start saving right? But here’s the thing, I don’t earn that much as it is, plus like everyone I have a credit card bill to keep on top of, and I have a holiday in October to pay for, and I you know, have a life to live and get on with. Here’s just one example of a catch 22, going forward I’m going to need to know how to drive,, but learning to drive takes money alot of money. So do I save in the worry that I will need that money or do I spend that money in the hope that learning to drive will make the next step of my life that bit smoother?
Plus, I don’t want to end up in a dark and twisty lonely place again. Which for the past fortnight I’ve not been on the brink of exactly, but in a bid to save money my life has very much resembled what it looked like back in December. Too many nights on the sofa watching netflix (no I’m not cancelling my subscription I don’t care how much I need to save money). Which means not having gone to Manchester to see friends very much lately, so I’m feeling massively out of the loop with them, and even though I talk to my best friend every day, this is the longest we’ve ever gone without seeing one another, and boy am I beginning to feel it, so if anyone wants to gift me a train ticket to London that would be ideal!
Doesn’t that all sound like a real good whinge? I’m sorry, I’m no where near as deep into my self pitty pool as all that would suggest! Despite having one too many nights in, I’m still going out running, and my weekends have been dotted with company. Quality over quantity company.
All this thinking has meant spending a lot of time in my own head, and I am slowly working through it all with a good prescription of ‘calm down and take a deep breath’ but that’s where I am in life right now. Full of excitement for things that are happening and may happen but also very aware of the stress, hard work and money that it takes to make those happenings happen.
How are you all? I feel like there is something in the air at the moment which means I’m not alone in suffering with a cluttered brain?
Live life & get it off your chest every now and then x