monday afternoon… finding that illusive sweet spot…

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Happy Bank Holiday Monday everyone! How are you?

I was working this morning, but the miserable weather here in Pennine Lancashire scuppered out plans a bit, so now I’m back in my flat with the afternoon all to myself!

If you read my post on Friday, you’ll know I have a lot cluttering up my head space at the moment. In fact just thinking about how much clutter there is has been taking up enough space in itself.

Here’s the thing, it is in my nature to always be looking forwards, and while sometimes (times like this) this can lead me to sleepless nights and general stress heady ways, most of the time this is what pushes me to be the best version of myself. However when those times come along when I can only look forward and see no clear path, that’s when I loose sight not only of the fact that I want to move forward but also of what is happening right in front of me.

At the beginning of this year I had hit some form of a sweet spot. Having started to read more into mindfulness, and not having any imminent plans that needed to be made, for the first time ever I felt still. Not stalled, but still and calm and happy. Unfortunately, as we’ve crept further on into this year, the luxury of having no imminent plans to be made has disappeared. The stuff that is taking up room in my head, about the future, needs to have that room dedicated to it. I HAVE to think about possible new jobs and back up plans. If I don’t I will find myself in a much worse position in 6 months time, that the slightly stressed out one I’m in at the moment, and besides, I LIKE to look forward.

However, the balance has tipped too far one way. I’m so far into looking forward that not only can I not see the path between here and there (something only adding to the stress) but I also can’t really enjoy right now, or give it the attention it deserves.

I need to find a new sweet spot. A spot somewhere in between, looking to the future while also taking in where I am right now. After all, if I don’t have a solid footing where I am right now, how can I be sure that the path going forward can take the weight of me and my plans?

This weekend I have been making tiny adjustments in an attempt to slither my way back along the scales to a point of equilibrium. Things like tidying up my kitchen table and turning it into a little bit of a creative workspace rather than just somehwere to store the dirty washing up. Taking a look at this blog and remembering that spending some dedicated time here worked wonders in helping me get out of waitressing and stay motivated. Taking out my notebook and planning not only what I want my life to look like in 3 years, but also in 3 months, and in 3 weeks time. And then switching off all together, finally finishing off some of my ‘to sew’ projects, and going out for dinner and enjoying the company, and a good conversation not only about work and the big stuff, but boys and clothes, and new cafes too.

In many ways this post is a bit of an immalgimation of all the posts I’ve published in the past couple of weeks, as my brain has hopped from one topic or worry to the next. Hopefully it is now all coming together.

And now, after a morning of work, planning and blogging, I’m heading to late lunch with a friend. Because that’s what bank holidays are for, and I’m already feeling much more balanced for it.

Live life & find your own sweet spot x

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